De Wormm Tingg is Gud

Meoww own meow Woorm Ting, purrrrrr
Sos Meoww wuz at de dore wen mi seestur big-kat Awwdri kame in lasss niet. Hurr brot a lawt o bauxes all culurr wit hurr too. Dey traid dez bauxes too eetch odder an den day awl dans rownd happi as a Kat iz wen it gits de Nip stuff frum de baig.
Dey mak a beeg messs too wit de shini pappurr ebberiware. Dey birn in somtims doe.
Purrrr. Din mi seesturr brot meow a baux...wat iz dis I tink, dey ebben thawt of meow? Wi? Soo hurr opins de baux like that she duz and dere is a rug in in wit a kord. De Dad-Kat put de odder enn in de jewse plase and de lite on de kord lit awl upp. Den Mum-Kat put anodder rug on topp and den de Dad-Kat flewed me entoo it down.
Yes he did. Purrrrrr. Den it wuz woorm like de brit shiny sky ball iz in de murnin. Woorm an I lai own in good. Purrrrr. Meow liek it, it good an mak me butt feel gud too. Purrrrrr. So dat is de Krissmouse seesun for dis kat, dey awl sai dat my dawturr NoLene gav me de woorm ting, Meow haz a qwesshun doe...what dawturr?

De Krissmouse Seesun

MARRIE KRISSMOUSE TO AWL MEOW KATS AND KITENZ


Meow lobes de treez, dey awl git spraklie at de daark tim. De hu-mans puurt de treez in de howses too, witch is varie suurprizin wen yu r a kiten-kat. It currs bowt dis tim of de anuwal tim ebberi ear. Yees it duz. Den de hu-mans put de bauxez rownd de tree botum for us kats to vestigait. An we do. Meow liks to klim de treez an surrpriz de big-kats bi jumpin owt at dem. Dey all tink it iz soo kewt. Ebben if meow smash a brit ting wen meow klims awl obber it dey seem to tink it is gud aniwai.
Oon a sertan dai dey opin de bauxes an awl r veri surprizd ewsuawlli, som times dey naut. Den dey burn all de paipurr an de bauxes affer I runn tru dem a wile. Iit is grete fun. Purrr. Laitli meow ben hunin for de Grete Mowse dat kum down de chiminie ebbry yere dat de big-kats tell me sew. An de Grete Mowse brin de giffs for de kats an de kitens jus lik de sayntah claws duz for de Big-Hu-mans. But Meow no seeum yet. Whi iz de sayntah claws a mowse for us kats and de kitens? Dat iz a misstoie to meow. Ifn eni off yew kats no de ansir pleeze come int and tele meow. Ave a fun hauledai and bess itches to yew awl.
Da Fur

Trubull iz bbrewein in de foress

De blaak kat an de blanc kat hav envaded meow teritories. Dey haid unner de foress an sneek rownd lukin to caws trubulls. I tak dem wen ebber meow seze dem but dey gud at runnin way. Meow sharpin de paws for dem taks. Meow no lik it wen dey sit an stair lik dey do at me thru meow door. Dey affer meow bowels, de water won and de kibbull won too. Dey chas ofn de burds and de mowses too so can fect meows die it. Dat ok, dey blede gud win meow gits de paws into em. De leaf trales. De big kats no lik me to go to de foress wen meow muss to protic meows howldins. If dey just stik to de mowndin aktifitees an git it rite that wud help meow know dat de blaak and de whit kat haad no kibbull o wahtir from meow bowels. But no...dey can not do it offen nuff as dey is laizee.
De tanks gibben is over an de big kats gaiv meow sum o de burd dey ait. Meow lik it fien. De ness hollidai iz cumin an dey sai dat dai wil git meow anudder burd. Meow wiel si.

De Mowsin and De Burdin

Sori 4 mi dpartin lik meow died. Jus dat de seedur wuz fild an de burds kamm lotts.
De littl wonns an dem beg ski-colord wons 2. Dey good inside, dey tasti. Dei com an dai cum anmunsh de ceed de big-kat puuts owt 4 dem. I ei dem lookin 4 de fatt wons wit de smawl flappurs. De big flappurd wons r haard to grippur wit my hans. Dai flap an flpa an it cann be streemli skari for meow. I letem gow. De leetl wons, de tidbitz meow kawls dem...hah hah, purrrrrr. Dem is ez. I katsch an schomp em up. Purrrr. Dey sof inside an warm gushi too. I lik de blud. Tase red. I had a burd fren wonc, a big flappur dat us to tak meow wen I wuz hunnin in de foress. We wud chas an he wud cri an I wud meow for himm. One day he pizz meow orf an I ate him, livr an awl. I iz a kat. Don pizz meow orf.
I hunnt de veshus mowses too. Dey hard to katch as dey ar triki. Dey moff de mowf an twitsch de noze too. I don like de nose twischin too mutch an in maks meow wann tak. I lik to toss de mowse rown wen he awl limp an ded too. It freshins dem up an maks dem mor tinderr. De liver is mi fav part, is it yurs too? I fownd a mows dat had 2 livers wonse. Yes. It was doubl-gud. In de forress de mows run wilde and de rrat-people too. I hate de ratt-pepul, dey harr to kill an dey bite tooo, doof! I go now see if de bowel iz mownded propurli lik I haff tawt mi big kats to du. Bi 4 now kats an kittens, have a mowsi dai! Purrrrr

Noo Gud, nO Gud, Noo Gud...Meow Kowd

De hew-manz haf dun et aginn, dei tawk bowt de glowbul war ming and dei ensiss dat et iz rele, well stoopid hew-manz ware iz it? Meoww is kowd. De skii is de color of de lefann, grraye. De winn cums frum de nort were dere iz no wormm yellow ski ting.
De globall wormming iz a kercheww. Meoow laiz heer an de stoopid hew-manz Dad-kat and de Mum-kat (she briter but still not like a kat iz, him iz howpliss) pet meow but dei no giff meow anyting worm. De no lite de fier ether. Hur iz at leas got on de furr for de kowd-tiem but he iz juss in de tiny schurt wit de shurt sleefs. She kurl up lik I due an meow lik to be ness to hur den, she lik a kat too...almoss purrs. purrrr. purrrr. Meow no lik de rane etherr. et is weat an kowd too, bad un bad. Soo meow kurl up agin and feel de heet of my Mum-Kat ness to me. Purrrr.
Bi for now meow kats and kitenz.
Da Furr

Dey Gotta Wooffer In Dere! WTF!

Soes Meows crewzin tru de jungull datt Meow ownnz an Meow goez 2 de dor. Dey awl iz stanin in de kookin plase lukin bak at meow an dere is a whit wooffur a runnin rown lik dey do awl ober de plase! A wooffur in Meowz howse! Wat iz rong wit de Kat-Mum and de Kat-Dad dat dey lowe dis?! Dey iz madd. Meow nebbr c dis kinnda ting b4. Dey sai dat dey iz Kat-Pepull butt noww meow wondurrs. De wooffer is leetul and sniveli lik dey awl ar. Dey alwaaz a sniffn rown lookin for de doof oor sompin ess.
Dey ar arrful. Dey ebben sniff de butts o de Big-Katts an dey no tak a tenshun. Dey iss stoopid as de wooffurs sumptim. Den Meow hizz at de wooffur an lik de kow-werd it iz he baksup an wufs at Meow tru de clowzed dor. Meow luk haard at de wooffur an he moofs bak to kowir bi hiz ownner lik awl woofurs doo. Meow lais unner de sitturr in de shaid an stair att de woofur 2 keepe in unner kuntrwl. I hate de woofurs.

Meow Go Ah Mowsin!

Meoow Hunntin For De Mowsee

Soes meow Big-Kat opinn de dor an I moff owt to de sowth in de depe graz. De mowsie is hear meow noes as meow smeler can smele him or hurr. Dat is gut forr meow huntin 2 dai. En de shaadoe de mowsie is sittin stil an I ei him/hurr. Meow hans haff de ripurrs owt redi 2 gett de mowsie qwikk. Den he mooffs as meow leeep an he goze down a howel. wates 4 himhurr too cum owt agin gud so meow can snagg himmhurr. De bowee wons arre tasti as r de gurl wons. Dey bowf gud. Meow letm lif 4 a wile sow meow cann taek demm to de Big-Kat Huw-manns soo dey weel be happi wit meow. Den meow ete himm/hurr alife. Dey fite bak butt dat iz done so fass. De swetebreds are de bess an de liffer is gutd tooo. de bonz add krunsch and dat is nise too. I no liek de hed dowe, too hardd. Soe meow karfuli remoffs it lik de sergeri wood. Den Imeow sllurrp de blud an de goop. It iz awl gut. I lic meow hans an meow kewt fase B fore meow sckratsh de glass too cum in an slurpee frum de toyet bowel. Den I sleep an burp.
Faart too.
Yur Fren, Da FurR

Maaah!! Dis Suxx Bahdli, Doof!!!

Dey leef wen dai wan,, dey reeturnn wen dai wan and here meoow lai watin paishuuntliee. De bowel iz moownded an meoow iz awl abowt de fud-strrik dat meow red on de compurrtir. Meoow weel laap up de wahtir dow an dat iz iit. Wen dai cum hom dai weel see meow iss boney ann tink meow is sik. Den dai feel baaad. Dat is alwais gud 4 meow. Betur fud den an betr moowndin. Smart kat Meow iz.
___

De ski iz fawlin agin 2dai, meow hans an de footerrs get awl gushi an meow muss wiip dem on de furrnishur or de ruggs. Den meow goez 2 de dor an sskratsh so de dumm one leet meow owt agin. Den meow ruun in de bak o de howse an skratchi de invisible door whair meow can c dem sittin an den dai lemme in agin...dummis dey ar. Doof 4 branes.

Haff a nise dai Kats an Kittens Iz gots a job 2 doo.^_^
Da FurKat

De Sski Iz Fawlinn, Purrrr

I no liik itt wen de ski fawls. De hans an de footers git all drippy and duin a doof iz a tuff ting owt dere. Meow iz in de rume wit my fude bowel an I haff 2 repurrt day dey not duin a gud jobb o kepein it prpurrly mownded jus lik I sed a wile bak. An de bigg kat hu-mans wownt leht meoww go owt so I haff to snook bi wen I kann. Dey are stoopid dow caws dei go owtsiid dem seffs to du sumptin and den iz mi chans. I fli bi dem liek dey stannin stil. But de Mum-Kat liks it wen I lai down in de krib hurr bilt for me ness 2 hur catputer. Den she rubs meow, purrrr. Butt sumtimes hur putt de Gupe in meow see-urs caws dey get de doof in dem sumtiims from de burdz. De Gupe duz wurkd dowe. So iz laain heer wit mi kats doin whaat we kats do bess, nowthin. Bi forr now kats an de kittens. Dis iz yu fren an qwaintants da Fur.
Purrrr
Fur

Deescuvery! De spelin scheckur

Meow Dad-Kat tawt meow to ooze de spelin schekur 2 dai. Meow pawz mak it defikult 2 due buut meoww iz gittin betr cat tit. Dat iz de gud nnewz. De baad newz iz dat dat Devil-Kat LoongTale has flowed meow here sum 6000 meowles fron de Furrants howse.
Yess, de LonngTalez wuz ear yesfurdai lukin to tack meow liik in de Furrants. Dat not nise so meow been busy gardin de gardin wit meow peee. Dat iz wat shee duz in meow kurtyard in de Furrants howse to kepe meow inside de howse and gets to meow fud bowel. Dat iz waat shez triin to du here in de Californica tooo. So Meow iz on gard agin. Doof! Purrrr. I got dat ofn meow chess an can moof on to nutter subjict noww. De dad-kat is not as fisy as he wuz in de Furrance howse, so I am d pressed.
I need de blood fud now an agin to re charg meow seff. He also not so (see de spelin schekur is wurkin gud meow) Purrrr, gud at de emp-tiin de doof muzz jus like b4. I will lai a hare-bal for him tu dai as a warnin. Dat iz awl furr now. Purrrr
Fur

MEOOW! HOhm wee iz! I Livv!

Dat wuz a nasti tripp. De big katts put me in de clof box and zippp meow in for de duraishun o de tripp to the lan o de sunn. De car paart iz alwaiz de worrs. I hait de devil car, de noweez iz lowd and I ca knot sleeep at awll. Den we wen in a otell wit de eelevaitor an it wen uup. Den we go down a loong hawlwai and fin de rume. I wen in to chk de rume for de rowdens or de nite-burds (baats de big kats cawl dem) but no fin eni. Den meow clim up de powel-tree to de top and lai bout for a wil to ress frm de tripp. Dey be all kuwt wit me wit de "good kitti" doof-tawk too witch iz awais sturbin. Den mum-kat put owt meow kibbilz and de toy-lit water 4 meow. I ait an drinkd den wen to de doof-mezz to do a doof for dem. Meow did iit too. Not mutcch but a leetl. Purrrrr. Dey wen awai to haf a bowl o kibbilz bi dem-seffs den dai kum bak an go into wawteer apurrratus caws dey no liik dem seffs liik meow duz.
Dai awl funni lukin too wit only pahchuz o hare a cupl o plases on der misserabl lukin bodees. Purrrr. On de top o de hed and beetweeen de leggs like mee where de funn parts ar. Dey funni lukin alrite. Den we sleeep.
Ness dai day jam me in de kary boxx agin an we go in de devil kar to air plase. It a loong triip. Scaree. Den we fule rownd in dis biig rume for a loong timee. Purrrrr. Den I fell to sleeep gud. No pissn, no doofn, no kibbilz and mum wass meow fase wit de wahtur wonse in a wilee. Purrrr. Meow woken up affer wile an heer dad-kat sai dat we wur lannin in de sanfrahnseesko, so wee did. Den meow see an heeer mi seestur Awdree as shee wuz cummin to takke us awl home. Dat wuz de lass o de triip for dis kaat, meow sleeep awl nite and dai too. See mew laitur Katts an de Kittens, Maaaa! to yu awl!
Da Furr

De Deviil Katt Comett

Dis picshuur iz o de Deviil-Kat whoo look lik a garygoil to meow. Shee ebben haas hornz.
___

De deviil kat wuz heer di dai, shee mEeoww 4 de longess tim too. Shee wan meow kibilz from meo bowl meownded so gut bi de Mum-Kat. But shee no git it as de big katts r on 2 hurr trikx deez dais. She howell at de Dad-Kats Chicken door an he wuz in dere but no ansir hurr pleeze. Purrrrr. Den de Mum-Kat heer hurr an den fin som cheesi stuff to meownd up for hurr and shee duz it. De Deviil Kat den shutt up. Gut.
Puuuurrrr. Dai kawl de Deviil Kat de Loongtale but shee is de Deviil Katt to meow. She tack me wen I wuz innnoscently gittin some vomit grasss to aiid my regestion and furbalz layin. I was nut ebenn lukin at hurr bad, she jus tack. Hurr paws weer not as sharrp as meows but dai were hard. She no huurt meow ether. She juss make silly battle-nowsis and den chaarg meow. I duccked insid de howse an shee stop at de door lik a cowar-katt. Pussy. Puuurrrrr. I winn! De Dad-Katt haas some pik tures o de Deviil-Katt hurr seff. I fine an puut dem on de bloog 4 U. I gutta go ass I feeel a hareball cumin. Bi 4 Noow. Purrrrr

De Katt Vett

Meow Bigg kats him aan hur putt meow in de Bagg o Deth dis morin an den dai putt me in de Kar Devil musheen. Wee wen rownd 4 ours befoo it storp an dey tak meow all rebarassed into a bildin dat smoof funni wit all de smoofs of de moos an de ors and ebben a dam ruffer..ugh. So der we al wate and wate 4 somtin to hahpin but it down unteel de rood ohpin an mi o vet sees me an reskews me from de Bagg o Deth. Den I wuz on a taibul an he feel meow awl obber lik he wuz triin to fin sumpin gud. Den he uss a musheen to tri an fin it but I gess dai not can dis tiim. Den he sai I gud and I got bak in2 meow Bagg o Deth. Dai awl sai gud kitti and dat doof agin an agin so meoow fele betr I gess. Eny wai I home now an hownin meow paws for som blood ackshun wit de He-Kat wen he tri to pet me wen I purrrrr. Purrrrr Dat wuz mi storee bowt de vett an how baad dai awl r to meow. Dai is baad. I gess yu no. purrrrr
___

On de disseraant sbjt dai ne gessts are he-humaans and dai are furr-enli and nise 2 meow 2. Dai is frm de Ewe-Sss an sows cat-o-linia. Dai sown a bit funni but dai is ok 2. I lik dem. I no doof or lai de furr-bawlz warr dai be. I gud. Puurrr
Dai nammz iz jaaysun lik de burds an Aindee. Dai is gud.

MeeeeOW! PAa Atenshunn Kats n Kiteens

Our gestts r leafin 2 dai an meow am saad to seeum goww. Dey gib meow betr fud wen dai haff gestts caws dey tri-en to impurrs dem wit (purrrr) dai genrositi 2 meow. It ok, I eat de vormitt graas enywai and dat heps mi figyur. I be bak layturr 2dai to fill u in on de hapnins affer dai leaf. Dwe dad-kat taken dem to de trane monster cat killer plais an he be bak. Dai gone an now ca n rewaxx froom gitten meow tale pulld owt bi de mailz. Dey aw full de maalz, de balld wons. Dey pul de taiels of kats an kiteens an tinkk it be ok. Dey iz de stupidess. Gurls are de bess, dey is mise to de kats and smooot de furr gud. Bess to keep u seff wit de gurl-humans witowt de balz dats wha diss kat saes. Moor laitur.

Impurred Rittin Sklz

Meoww Kats n Kitins! I kin ritee betr neow wit mi paws coberd wit de stikii thin taip dat de hu-manz uus 2 hol stuff uup or doown. I taiped dem mi seff wen de hu-manz wen orf somware yesturday. I kin riit fasser now an meow is betr at de spelin 2.
Makes mor scents hoo? purrrr. Wit de praaktis i iz jus fliin cross de kei=bord. Meow stil doews no lik de y but I void it wit two iis in sted. Cooo huh? Gud.
___

I fown a izzie insid de howse affer dai wen awai. I chasd iit and it ran reeli fass an got awai gud. I don lik to eet dem aniiwai, dey tase lik shiken an i no lik de shicken caws it tase lik izzie. I lik phishi an de liffer kind o kittle lumpz. Wen I vormit it tase bess comin back upp. Wats ur fav? I no eet de hu-manz fude ether, u nebr no what it iz. rong shaap and funnni tase 2.
___

Wattr is gud wit a bit o de hu-man blood in it, its a dirfren subjic for anodder dai.
Hu-man blowd is gud tho isnt iit?
Bifo now.
Meow!
Fur-Rr_Ee

Meow An De Buks Tiim

Howza Kittis owt der in de sibrr worl. Dis kat iz gud. Iz ein de win doo and earin de Tim liin by som ball-human. Ball humans are hez not shez. Yu kats no de balz...de he Kats got em I don an mos my frens don edder. Eniway,,dis kat is on chptr 3b cat dis tiim. Buks lissen 2 dis wai maaks it ez for dis kat to tunb in an droop owt 4 a wiile. purrrr. Michael Critter roote iit. Wen de BiG Kats go wai I lissen to de buk. It is a loong buk and wiile I reeed fass it taks me som tiim to fiinesh a buk. My ness won purrrrr is War An D Piec. Iit iz bowt d Rushan kat fiight dat dey had a wiil agoo. It shd bee a gud reeed. Den d Great Catsptashuns. A bowt de kats in d big sitee. De katts sai dat dey wen 2 Paris 2 git meow more chars to siit on an rubb meow furr off on. Or lay a hare-bawl on. Orr de doof. Dey tinkk I dun no tis. But meow doo. purrrr. Dai wuz gonner furr de logesh tiim tooo.
Dea tink I hissed dem but I not so re fected. purrrr Nise chars doww, red an de wud so dai gret for maak a kratshin posss. Seculi de red soff stufff dat de mum kat liiks.
Bi forr now Kats!

De Doof Muzz

De doof muzz is a nesssiti ifn u iz an ec (eenside kat purrson). Dey big-kats almaz kaawl it a muzz but dat is caws dey don impi it as dei shd. Dei mus du it ich dai. If dey don...den yu shd doof war dey ar so u can esprurs yur dissstass at the big katss baad haabets. Doof on dei favrut seetin plase or ware dei stipp. Dat weel hep u in ur qwess to moodifi dey behavoor. If u iz not an ec and yu r a worl-kaat...den u can doof anywaar at awl. Meow de kin o muzz stuff dat haas a nose scent lik de rozez. Wen dey git meow de rong muzz I doof unner de dad-kaats seetin plase and dey den no dei ben putt on de nowtise. Muzz be de rite spensiff muzz ils dei gunna git doofed gud.

Impurrtint Purr Kats - Hare Bawlz

Hi dere Kats an Kitins, its Fur-R-Ee dis moewing wit some reo advis on de hare-bawlz big too doo. At won tim or de oddr u will be jus minin ur own buz an burp! pop! ugh! (yes ugh is a Kattish wurd of ex catmashun) an spriz, spriz...up chuks a wad o doof with all de tanguls an juces from de gut that a reel gud loss of kat hellth wud be speked. Not felin sik dow u go 3 mor stips an ugh! Pop! Gurkk...up comes more laying owt dare lik a piled up brown flat snake accident in de rowd win dey get rund obber bi a devil-kar. Well den u iz ok affer all an u can go eat sum more, a favrit of de breeed o Kats. Layin de furr-bawlz is typikal for de oller kats, yung wons do nut du it so mutch it seeems. Ifn yu do won bi acciden u7nner a sleepin plase for de Big-Kats it will dri in a few daz and look lik a doof. Blame it den on de howse dog by goin bak an fort unner de sleeping plase until de Big Kats look den approtch de howse dog (catfulli tho). Dey will git de idee ventuwalli. If yu don haff a howse dog den blam it on de odder cat. Ifn u don haff annoder kat yu betr run caws ventualli dei will get doof mediceen 4 u an dat is real doof. Dey will shove de mediceen doof down yur purrr an you will now doof hare-bawlz. Reeeli. Now if u iz an o-k (owt-world-kat) den uzin dem to bess vantag to git betr kibblz iz no trik at awl. jus lai it on de fron or bak door stipp...an dat wil doo dee trik. Beter kibblz is di mane idee.
bi 4 meow, De Fur.

Purrfect Groomig

Hissen up u kats, unlik owr parents we haf standurds 2 folloow wen it cums to our depurrtmen. Bess loooks and bess beehavoor go tugettr like two mouses in a Bowel.
kats need smuuff furr an kleen doof areaa at awl tims. De doof can be sum odersum. De bess mefed to kleen de door area is de liker. De liker is de rosy ting dat hangs owt o de mowf wen it is open as wen yu iz loss conschusmess. U mus toss de right or if u iz leff legged de leff won into de are above de doof area. purrr. u may wonner what de doof iz. It is de kibblee affer yu eet it. Dat is de doof. De poseshun iz nown bi de big kats as de porkchop. De porkchop is a purrti gud scripshun too, tri it in fron of de shinee sliver ting de hu manns use to pluck hares from their own doof areas. Looks jus lik one.
Den dare iz de unnerarm liker. Unner ur aarmz u casn lik de loos fuzz orf and coff it up affer as a harebawl. Jus lik wit de liker,, den go eat some green vormit grazz from de hu mann's weeed patch. Den fin a nise spot to coff it onto, like a human foot covver (acts lik a corndishunor, keeps it soff) or oreorenjtal rug. So dat is dis Kat's greyt bewtee tip lik idee for 2 dai.
Sumkat rote en, whi don u tipe de wise wen u rit on de cat-puter??? Deer reeedur, I do not lik de _s caws dei mind me orf de tim i saw wit my eis a 2 heded snake in de weed patch. Dat is why, dey had der likers wurkin too an dat was vry skaree.

Propurr Meowding

Wen dai leaf dai alwaiz tel meow dat dey iz gowing sumwear an win dai iz cumeen bac. Dai tell me each won, he duz, she duz...why dai do dat i du not no, but dai alwaiz do it dat wai. purrr. Somtims i go to my Bowel an inspec it for propurr meowding an it is not a nis rownd top lik it schood be an i am dissscustard bi de lac ov dai tenshun to de-tails. De Bowel muss bee filld to de top peepul! Top! Top! Top! Not evfurr flat liek or sloppee orf sentered. Den it needes to beee meownded rownd like on de top. Den it is rite. Purrhips I schood tak you peepul reeedurrs an lest de stips. purrr.
1 A new Bowel eech time iz very nise or haff mani cleen wons readi. purrr
2 plase fude in Bowel karfuli purrrr it in neat witowt smearing or spwillin on de tabul, purrr
3 I demannd a spot on de flooor ifn yu muss dat is spotliss an kleeen. purrr.
4. den inspec for propurr meowding agin an shake down to level. purrr.
5 den refill to de very top plus nufff for re-meowding. purrr.
5a set Bowel down in very clean spottliss spot.
6 meowding agin betr dan de lasss tim.
7. Tell Kat day you luv himm or hurr.
8 watch Kat approach Bowel an observe for 30 minnuettes.
9 Pet Kat.
10. Kleenup hare-bawl.

I'm Fur-Rr-Ee, I live in Furrants

Maa! I don't say ME-Oww like odder unedu-cat-ed kats, I say Maa to everywon, my parents included. I'm a bit unusual as I understand and can write englesh tho my speling is not as good as it cood be. my dad-kat tawt me how to yuz my hands to rite on de katbored. I dunno how tu yuz de mows but won dai I will I tinc. Til I get betr at speling yu will haff to try to unnerstan. Be smart! Yu kan lern like meow haz. I have 4 seesters but dey arwent heer. Dey naymz are Awdree, Ashlee, aymee an wrowsee. I herd mi big kats sai dat Awdree wil be heer on saturndai. It weel be fun seein hur agin.

Some kat ask meow wons how I got ear in Furrants. My Mum-Kat an Dad-Kat brot meow wen dey kam lass spreen. Dey pakd me in a soft jayl an ziped it shut. Den I wen to a big plas and ness ting I no I was unner a seet as they call a Kat plase normally.
And I wen to sleeep sune affer. Den I wuz in a devil-kar, the Big Kats like devil kars but I downt. Dey moff and make noweeze. I wen to sleeep. Wen I wowk up I wuz beein taken intoo a beeg kat howse an dat is ware yu fiyn me todai.
I lyk it heer in Furrants. De fude is gud. The peepul are owd but dat is ok.