MEOOW! HOhm wee iz! I Livv!

Dat wuz a nasti tripp. De big katts put me in de clof box and zippp meow in for de duraishun o de tripp to the lan o de sunn. De car paart iz alwaiz de worrs. I hait de devil car, de noweez iz lowd and I ca knot sleeep at awll. Den we wen in a otell wit de eelevaitor an it wen uup. Den we go down a loong hawlwai and fin de rume. I wen in to chk de rume for de rowdens or de nite-burds (baats de big kats cawl dem) but no fin eni. Den meow clim up de powel-tree to de top and lai bout for a wil to ress frm de tripp. Dey be all kuwt wit me wit de "good kitti" doof-tawk too witch iz awais sturbin. Den mum-kat put owt meow kibbilz and de toy-lit water 4 meow. I ait an drinkd den wen to de doof-mezz to do a doof for dem. Meow did iit too. Not mutcch but a leetl. Purrrrr. Dey wen awai to haf a bowl o kibbilz bi dem-seffs den dai kum bak an go into wawteer apurrratus caws dey no liik dem seffs liik meow duz.
Dai awl funni lukin too wit only pahchuz o hare a cupl o plases on der misserabl lukin bodees. Purrrr. On de top o de hed and beetweeen de leggs like mee where de funn parts ar. Dey funni lukin alrite. Den we sleeep.
Ness dai day jam me in de kary boxx agin an we go in de devil kar to air plase. It a loong triip. Scaree. Den we fule rownd in dis biig rume for a loong timee. Purrrrr. Den I fell to sleeep gud. No pissn, no doofn, no kibbilz and mum wass meow fase wit de wahtur wonse in a wilee. Purrrr. Meow woken up affer wile an heer dad-kat sai dat we wur lannin in de sanfrahnseesko, so wee did. Den meow see an heeer mi seestur Awdree as shee wuz cummin to takke us awl home. Dat wuz de lass o de triip for dis kaat, meow sleeep awl nite and dai too. See mew laitur Katts an de Kittens, Maaaa! to yu awl!
Da Furr

De Deviil Katt Comett

Dis picshuur iz o de Deviil-Kat whoo look lik a garygoil to meow. Shee ebben haas hornz.
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De deviil kat wuz heer di dai, shee mEeoww 4 de longess tim too. Shee wan meow kibilz from meo bowl meownded so gut bi de Mum-Kat. But shee no git it as de big katts r on 2 hurr trikx deez dais. She howell at de Dad-Kats Chicken door an he wuz in dere but no ansir hurr pleeze. Purrrrr. Den de Mum-Kat heer hurr an den fin som cheesi stuff to meownd up for hurr and shee duz it. De Deviil Kat den shutt up. Gut.
Puuuurrrr. Dai kawl de Deviil Kat de Loongtale but shee is de Deviil Katt to meow. She tack me wen I wuz innnoscently gittin some vomit grasss to aiid my regestion and furbalz layin. I was nut ebenn lukin at hurr bad, she jus tack. Hurr paws weer not as sharrp as meows but dai were hard. She no huurt meow ether. She juss make silly battle-nowsis and den chaarg meow. I duccked insid de howse an shee stop at de door lik a cowar-katt. Pussy. Puuurrrrr. I winn! De Dad-Katt haas some pik tures o de Deviil-Katt hurr seff. I fine an puut dem on de bloog 4 U. I gutta go ass I feeel a hareball cumin. Bi 4 Noow. Purrrrr

De Katt Vett

Meow Bigg kats him aan hur putt meow in de Bagg o Deth dis morin an den dai putt me in de Kar Devil musheen. Wee wen rownd 4 ours befoo it storp an dey tak meow all rebarassed into a bildin dat smoof funni wit all de smoofs of de moos an de ors and ebben a dam ruffer..ugh. So der we al wate and wate 4 somtin to hahpin but it down unteel de rood ohpin an mi o vet sees me an reskews me from de Bagg o Deth. Den I wuz on a taibul an he feel meow awl obber lik he wuz triin to fin sumpin gud. Den he uss a musheen to tri an fin it but I gess dai not can dis tiim. Den he sai I gud and I got bak in2 meow Bagg o Deth. Dai awl sai gud kitti and dat doof agin an agin so meoow fele betr I gess. Eny wai I home now an hownin meow paws for som blood ackshun wit de He-Kat wen he tri to pet me wen I purrrrr. Purrrrr Dat wuz mi storee bowt de vett an how baad dai awl r to meow. Dai is baad. I gess yu no. purrrrr
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On de disseraant sbjt dai ne gessts are he-humaans and dai are furr-enli and nise 2 meow 2. Dai is frm de Ewe-Sss an sows cat-o-linia. Dai sown a bit funni but dai is ok 2. I lik dem. I no doof or lai de furr-bawlz warr dai be. I gud. Puurrr
Dai nammz iz jaaysun lik de burds an Aindee. Dai is gud.

MeeeeOW! PAa Atenshunn Kats n Kiteens

Our gestts r leafin 2 dai an meow am saad to seeum goww. Dey gib meow betr fud wen dai haff gestts caws dey tri-en to impurrs dem wit (purrrr) dai genrositi 2 meow. It ok, I eat de vormitt graas enywai and dat heps mi figyur. I be bak layturr 2dai to fill u in on de hapnins affer dai leaf. Dwe dad-kat taken dem to de trane monster cat killer plais an he be bak. Dai gone an now ca n rewaxx froom gitten meow tale pulld owt bi de mailz. Dey aw full de maalz, de balld wons. Dey pul de taiels of kats an kiteens an tinkk it be ok. Dey iz de stupidess. Gurls are de bess, dey is mise to de kats and smooot de furr gud. Bess to keep u seff wit de gurl-humans witowt de balz dats wha diss kat saes. Moor laitur.

Impurred Rittin Sklz

Meoww Kats n Kitins! I kin ritee betr neow wit mi paws coberd wit de stikii thin taip dat de hu-manz uus 2 hol stuff uup or doown. I taiped dem mi seff wen de hu-manz wen orf somware yesturday. I kin riit fasser now an meow is betr at de spelin 2.
Makes mor scents hoo? purrrr. Wit de praaktis i iz jus fliin cross de kei=bord. Meow stil doews no lik de y but I void it wit two iis in sted. Cooo huh? Gud.
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I fown a izzie insid de howse affer dai wen awai. I chasd iit and it ran reeli fass an got awai gud. I don lik to eet dem aniiwai, dey tase lik shiken an i no lik de shicken caws it tase lik izzie. I lik phishi an de liffer kind o kittle lumpz. Wen I vormit it tase bess comin back upp. Wats ur fav? I no eet de hu-manz fude ether, u nebr no what it iz. rong shaap and funnni tase 2.
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Wattr is gud wit a bit o de hu-man blood in it, its a dirfren subjic for anodder dai.
Hu-man blowd is gud tho isnt iit?
Bifo now.
Meow!
Fur-Rr_Ee