Meow An De Buks Tiim

Howza Kittis owt der in de sibrr worl. Dis kat iz gud. Iz ein de win doo and earin de Tim liin by som ball-human. Ball humans are hez not shez. Yu kats no de balz...de he Kats got em I don an mos my frens don edder. Eniway,,dis kat is on chptr 3b cat dis tiim. Buks lissen 2 dis wai maaks it ez for dis kat to tunb in an droop owt 4 a wiile. purrrr. Michael Critter roote iit. Wen de BiG Kats go wai I lissen to de buk. It is a loong buk and wiile I reeed fass it taks me som tiim to fiinesh a buk. My ness won purrrrr is War An D Piec. Iit iz bowt d Rushan kat fiight dat dey had a wiil agoo. It shd bee a gud reeed. Den d Great Catsptashuns. A bowt de kats in d big sitee. De katts sai dat dey wen 2 Paris 2 git meow more chars to siit on an rubb meow furr off on. Or lay a hare-bawl on. Orr de doof. Dey tinkk I dun no tis. But meow doo. purrrr. Dai wuz gonner furr de logesh tiim tooo.
Dea tink I hissed dem but I not so re fected. purrrr Nise chars doww, red an de wud so dai gret for maak a kratshin posss. Seculi de red soff stufff dat de mum kat liiks.
Bi forr now Kats!

De Doof Muzz

De doof muzz is a nesssiti ifn u iz an ec (eenside kat purrson). Dey big-kats almaz kaawl it a muzz but dat is caws dey don impi it as dei shd. Dei mus du it ich dai. If dey don...den yu shd doof war dey ar so u can esprurs yur dissstass at the big katss baad haabets. Doof on dei favrut seetin plase or ware dei stipp. Dat weel hep u in ur qwess to moodifi dey behavoor. If u iz not an ec and yu r a worl-kaat...den u can doof anywaar at awl. Meow de kin o muzz stuff dat haas a nose scent lik de rozez. Wen dey git meow de rong muzz I doof unner de dad-kaats seetin plase and dey den no dei ben putt on de nowtise. Muzz be de rite spensiff muzz ils dei gunna git doofed gud.

Impurrtint Purr Kats - Hare Bawlz

Hi dere Kats an Kitins, its Fur-R-Ee dis moewing wit some reo advis on de hare-bawlz big too doo. At won tim or de oddr u will be jus minin ur own buz an burp! pop! ugh! (yes ugh is a Kattish wurd of ex catmashun) an spriz, spriz...up chuks a wad o doof with all de tanguls an juces from de gut that a reel gud loss of kat hellth wud be speked. Not felin sik dow u go 3 mor stips an ugh! Pop! Gurkk...up comes more laying owt dare lik a piled up brown flat snake accident in de rowd win dey get rund obber bi a devil-kar. Well den u iz ok affer all an u can go eat sum more, a favrit of de breeed o Kats. Layin de furr-bawlz is typikal for de oller kats, yung wons do nut du it so mutch it seeems. Ifn yu do won bi acciden u7nner a sleepin plase for de Big-Kats it will dri in a few daz and look lik a doof. Blame it den on de howse dog by goin bak an fort unner de sleeping plase until de Big Kats look den approtch de howse dog (catfulli tho). Dey will git de idee ventuwalli. If yu don haff a howse dog den blam it on de odder cat. Ifn u don haff annoder kat yu betr run caws ventualli dei will get doof mediceen 4 u an dat is real doof. Dey will shove de mediceen doof down yur purrr an you will now doof hare-bawlz. Reeeli. Now if u iz an o-k (owt-world-kat) den uzin dem to bess vantag to git betr kibblz iz no trik at awl. jus lai it on de fron or bak door stipp...an dat wil doo dee trik. Beter kibblz is di mane idee.
bi 4 meow, De Fur.

Purrfect Groomig

Hissen up u kats, unlik owr parents we haf standurds 2 folloow wen it cums to our depurrtmen. Bess loooks and bess beehavoor go tugettr like two mouses in a Bowel.
kats need smuuff furr an kleen doof areaa at awl tims. De doof can be sum odersum. De bess mefed to kleen de door area is de liker. De liker is de rosy ting dat hangs owt o de mowf wen it is open as wen yu iz loss conschusmess. U mus toss de right or if u iz leff legged de leff won into de are above de doof area. purrr. u may wonner what de doof iz. It is de kibblee affer yu eet it. Dat is de doof. De poseshun iz nown bi de big kats as de porkchop. De porkchop is a purrti gud scripshun too, tri it in fron of de shinee sliver ting de hu manns use to pluck hares from their own doof areas. Looks jus lik one.
Den dare iz de unnerarm liker. Unner ur aarmz u casn lik de loos fuzz orf and coff it up affer as a harebawl. Jus lik wit de liker,, den go eat some green vormit grazz from de hu mann's weeed patch. Den fin a nise spot to coff it onto, like a human foot covver (acts lik a corndishunor, keeps it soff) or oreorenjtal rug. So dat is dis Kat's greyt bewtee tip lik idee for 2 dai.
Sumkat rote en, whi don u tipe de wise wen u rit on de cat-puter??? Deer reeedur, I do not lik de _s caws dei mind me orf de tim i saw wit my eis a 2 heded snake in de weed patch. Dat is why, dey had der likers wurkin too an dat was vry skaree.

Propurr Meowding

Wen dai leaf dai alwaiz tel meow dat dey iz gowing sumwear an win dai iz cumeen bac. Dai tell me each won, he duz, she duz...why dai do dat i du not no, but dai alwaiz do it dat wai. purrr. Somtims i go to my Bowel an inspec it for propurr meowding an it is not a nis rownd top lik it schood be an i am dissscustard bi de lac ov dai tenshun to de-tails. De Bowel muss bee filld to de top peepul! Top! Top! Top! Not evfurr flat liek or sloppee orf sentered. Den it needes to beee meownded rownd like on de top. Den it is rite. Purrhips I schood tak you peepul reeedurrs an lest de stips. purrr.
1 A new Bowel eech time iz very nise or haff mani cleen wons readi. purrr
2 plase fude in Bowel karfuli purrrr it in neat witowt smearing or spwillin on de tabul, purrr
3 I demannd a spot on de flooor ifn yu muss dat is spotliss an kleeen. purrr.
4. den inspec for propurr meowding agin an shake down to level. purrr.
5 den refill to de very top plus nufff for re-meowding. purrr.
5a set Bowel down in very clean spottliss spot.
6 meowding agin betr dan de lasss tim.
7. Tell Kat day you luv himm or hurr.
8 watch Kat approach Bowel an observe for 30 minnuettes.
9 Pet Kat.
10. Kleenup hare-bawl.

I'm Fur-Rr-Ee, I live in Furrants

Maa! I don't say ME-Oww like odder unedu-cat-ed kats, I say Maa to everywon, my parents included. I'm a bit unusual as I understand and can write englesh tho my speling is not as good as it cood be. my dad-kat tawt me how to yuz my hands to rite on de katbored. I dunno how tu yuz de mows but won dai I will I tinc. Til I get betr at speling yu will haff to try to unnerstan. Be smart! Yu kan lern like meow haz. I have 4 seesters but dey arwent heer. Dey naymz are Awdree, Ashlee, aymee an wrowsee. I herd mi big kats sai dat Awdree wil be heer on saturndai. It weel be fun seein hur agin.

Some kat ask meow wons how I got ear in Furrants. My Mum-Kat an Dad-Kat brot meow wen dey kam lass spreen. Dey pakd me in a soft jayl an ziped it shut. Den I wen to a big plas and ness ting I no I was unner a seet as they call a Kat plase normally.
And I wen to sleeep sune affer. Den I wuz in a devil-kar, the Big Kats like devil kars but I downt. Dey moff and make noweeze. I wen to sleeep. Wen I wowk up I wuz beein taken intoo a beeg kat howse an dat is ware yu fiyn me todai.
I lyk it heer in Furrants. De fude is gud. The peepul are owd but dat is ok.